I’m always losing something. My keys, my phones, my mind, just always something. Most recently I lost the vast majority of my files on my computer because my hard drive crashed. The good news is my computer is fixed (with a new hard drive) and now I’m trying to play catch up with my school work and recovery with some of my files. School is going well, though I have ZERO motivation, and even less motivation to clean my house, lol, but the recovery is going so so. People have been e-mailing me what they have which is awesome, but I know I won’t be able to recover everything which bums me out.
The following week at church we had prophetic Sunday. There are three or four groups of three people who listen for God to give them a word. It’s pretty awesome. I signed up and one of the words I got was me writing on a blank page and the words just disappearing as fast as I can write them. They are there, for me, but not for anyone else. I have immensely enjoyed meditating on that one. I feel like it means something very special.
One thing I do know, I still don’t know what I want. At this point I don’t even know what I don’t want. Yesterday was a little hard for me. October 4th marked the final day of the 60 day cooling off period before my divorce is finalized. I know I filed for divorce, mostly in what was probably a rash but wise move, and I suppose a tiny part of me hoped my Ex would pull his head out of his behind and see, oh hey, what am I doing cheating on my wife?! But no go. He doesn’t want to leave her.
So now I am going to pick up, officially, and move on. I am going to redecorate and reorganize everything! Eventually, as soon as I can motivate myself. Part of me thought about moving, finding a new house and starting over, but that’s a lot more than I am ready for. So I am going to do some repainting and minor renovating. And to get myself in the mood I am watching HGTV. It’s probably one of my favorite channels.
I’m off readers! I have school work and cleaning to do!
Free to Keep Breathing 