More special than you think…

Today is a special day, but not only because it is Thanksgiving. (Happy Thanksgiving by the way readers!) No, this day is also special because at 10:16 AM two years ago my son was born. He was three weeks early. His father and I had just gotten back from my 37 week check up. My doctor said everything looked fine. I remember asking her if there was any chance I would go into labor early. My due date was the week of my finals for the semester and I was worried about going into labor before the semester ended. She reassured me all was well. So off to home we went. I felt fine.

As soon as I stepped my foot in the door I felt something weird, almost like a pop and then water. Not a ton, I wasn’t drenched, but it felt like I had peed. However I hadn’t and didn’t need to (for once! haha). I know I had a weird look on my face because my sister-in-law suddenly got concerned and asked if I was ok. I just stood there and said, I don’t know. So of course she asked what happened, and my mother-in-law started getting worried too. I went to the bathroom and found that my underwear and pants were wet. Thinking well maybe I peed without realizing it or something I went and changed….then I soaked through a liner, my underwear, and almost through my pants. I called the hospital where I was going to be having my son (because my doctor is 45 minutes away and the office was closed already) and explained what was happening. They suspected my water broke and asked if I could come down so they could check.

45 minutes to the hospital later and sure enough I had gone into labor. I labored through the night and dilated from a 1 to an 8 before they gave me an epidural. The anesthesiologist almost didn’t make it in time to give it to me because of some emergency on another floor. Let me tell you, I got to 7 cm fine with minimal excruciating pain. I have a pretty high pain tolerance. But then I started walking around and I had to stop every few steps because it hurt so bad. That was an 8 ladies and gentlemen. They gave me the epidural and I continued to dilate. Now, while I have a high pain tolerance I have a very low drug tolerance. The epidural made me so loopy I couldn’t push because I was laughing too hard. They actually had to turn it off when I had to push because I couldn’t feel anything. So while I was in labor for nearly 12 hours I only had to push for about 20 minutes. In terms of a first time birth it went really easy. No complications which was awesome!

So at 10:16 AM on 11/27/12 this amazing and handsome little boy was placed in my arms.He was 19.5 inches and 6 lbs 8 oz. He was the most beautiful and amazing little creature I had ever laid eyes on and I was instantly in love and terrified at the same time. It hasn’t been easy. There have been some wonderfully amazing times where I feel so blessed and happy raising and caring for my son, but there have also been terribly awful times, where I have doubted my ability to be a mom, where I have cried because I felt like I couldn’t do it. Through the ups and downs though I have never not loved my son for a single second. I have never and will never regret having him at 22 or out-of-wedlock. I love my son so much that I’ve felt overwhelmed by it. I love you Xander Cole.

Happy birthday to the biggest blessing and miracle in my life:

 Xander Cole.