Some people really like to help and/or be proactive. That’s a wonderful trait to have. You may have the best of intentions, but it may not be the best way to approach a situation, or there may be something you don’t know regarding previously made decisions. Your thoughtfulness is appreciated, and sweet, but I’m the type of person that appreciates being consulted first.
I love to serve. I love working, volunteering, and making things easier on other people. That being said, when I am dealing with something painful or difficult, I know when to step back. I’ll step back and try to refocus. I find healing in serving. Taking my ability to serve away from me because you think I “need time” is not helpful, it makes the situation worse. I am not mad at you, and I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. I didn’t intend to sound so harsh, but please understand. If I’m dealing with one upheaval in an area of my life then I really need the others to be stable.
I’m a nursery volunteer at church. I love, love, love, and adore babies. I care for them incredibly tenderly. Ask anyone who is in the room with me. When I’m in the nursery I’m not thinking about all my woes and problems, I am thinking about loving the babies and showing them the love of Jesus. The babies sensing something wrong isn’t a concern because I know how sensitive they are, and I’ve never had a problem out of or with them.
I made a previous post a few months ago about assuming. This falls under that category. I’m aware that some of the information I have posted was probably unknown to you, but if I’ve dealt with it my whole life, and you’ve never noticed before, why does it matter now? People assume they know what I am going through and what’s best for me. Again, I appreciate the sentiment, but please ask me first. Also, the looks I get? I’m not imagining them because other people have noticed them before me.
I’m a competent, stable person. Talk to me without thinking you know what is best for me. I’m a really open person. If you have a suggestion please tell me. I will listen and we can talk about it. Communication is key. This post is not directed at one person. It’s good for all of us to remember. We can have the best of intentions, but they can harm if we’re not careful.
Other single moms out there, you’re not dealing with this alone. We all have an adjustment period and we all find healing in different ways. I am at peace with my life, though for a time I was afraid it would never come. If you feel like something is going on, or you think someone’s help isn’t helping I’d also advise you to talk to them. Just take a deep breath and breathe.
Free to Keep Breathing 