A New Chapter

If you are an avid reader then you’ll understand the eagerness of continuing into a new chapter. I’m just as eager to start a new chapter in a book as I am in my life. When I started this blog it was as a newly single mom; a life I was fully embracing. I wrote about the struggle, strife, joy, laughter, and more of being a single mom to a toddler, dating while balancing my son, dealing with depression in several important areas, and a few other random bits of my life. I wrote a few times about my husband. Sometimes I missed him and sometimes I wished he would just completely go away.

Several weeks ago he approached me and asked for us to seek marriage counseling, something I had begged him for before, but he would never commit to. I was reluctant at first, unsure of his motives and sudden change of heart. I decided to risk the heartache and we began to see a counselor. Initially I was untrusting and suspicious of everything. I could hardly return any affection because I was so suspicious of his. As swiftly as my husband left he returned, and it burdened me with feeling unbalanced. I had adjusted to living with just me and Xander. Suddenly my space was being invaded.

It took a couple of weeks, a lot of communication, and some counseling, but I finally got over myself. I readjusted to my husband and daughter being home. My mostly quiet house was bursting with noise once again, and I felt strange. Life couldn’t go back to how it had been a year ago. We simply could not work like that. He needed to change, but so did I. I do not pretend to know why God does anything, but the lessons I have learned over the past year have been invaluable. I can already see the change in both of us, but the road is far from over. We’ve taken several steps to being a happily married couple, righting wrongs, and healing hurts. Whatever happens I am going remember to breathe and turn the page.