One of the best things in life is having someone there for you. Whether that person is a family member, friend, or spouse, having someone you can count on in good times and bad is priceless. Over the last several months I have found people and I have lost people. I lost someone I loved very much and I was sure we would never be together again, but he managed to find his way back into my life even though I wasn’t sure I wanted him to. After much prayer and many long talks my husband and I reconciled.
We are good together. We have problems just like everyone else, and we do our best to work them out together. That’s not to say it’s always easy. Last Thursday we had our first big fight since reconciling. It was about several things really, but one bit of bad news tipped the scales from working together harmoniously to shutting the door and having it out. (We’re still working on our communication skills.)
Since reconciling I haven’t been able to spend much time alone or with my friends. I had gotten used to my lifestyle and being able to come and go (with a toddler) as I pleased. Having my husband home has been positive, but challenging. I have a tendency to bottle my stress as well. When I got the news that we had been denied SNAP benefits because we “exceed the allowed income” I was really upset. We may not be dirt poor, but we’re not exactly well to do either. After dinner my grandmother was talking about moving to Florida which broke my heart a little because I was going to miss her and she wouldn’t be around to see Xander. Add that to the fact that I wasn’t feeling well it was a recipe for disaster.
Instead of coming straight home after work I decided to stop and see a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. I text Roger to let him know, but it was last-minute which annoyed him. My already short temper sparked and I knew as soon as we got home we were going to fight. I didn’t walk in with a clear head or I would have tried to step back and rethink the situation. I knew why I was upset, and it had little to do with Roger. I was annoyed; he was annoyed because I was annoyed and was withdrawing and lashing out. Yeah, I have talent.
Not long after dinner I finally couldn’t take it anymore so I sat in the shower and cried. Roger didn’t know why I was crying and I snapped at him. It progressed from there. After about 15 minutes of intense arguing and raised voices we sat on the bed and really talked things out. He gave me what I needed (which was mostly just reassurance that everything would be okay), and I said I was sorry for lashing out at him.
We may not be perfect, and we may not always get it right, but we are better together.