Kids say (and do) the darnedest things. Wasn’t that a TV show? Thankfully I don’t have to wait for a show to come on to get my dose of toddler humor. Sometimes Xander can be an absolute menace. He has the ability to drive me nut! But other times he literally has me rolling on the floor laughing! Here is a small collection of things he has said and done that will keep you laughing for at least the next hour.
ME: Xander, I love you!
X: Nuh, uh!
ME: Yes I do! I gave birth to you!
X: *scrunched face in confused horror* WHAT?!
Not my kid, but essentially his face…
STAGE: Saturday morning around 8 am (I’m being optimistic). A naked Xander comes running into my room and jumps on the bed before sitting on the side of my face and wiggling his tush.
X: Baby butt!
*Xander puts on a pair of old glasses*
ME: You’re so adorable.
X: No, I’m me.
“I’m me.”
We’re working on potty-training, and he does better if he doesn’t wear a diaper or underwear. I looked away for a minute and when I turned back around Xander was standing over his sister’s rain boot…peeing in it. At least he has good aim.
At the store the other day Xander spotted some dinosaur feet slippers. I proceeded to put them on and stomp around the store saying “RAWR!”
In the evening when we’re all relaxing he insists on Roger putting his feet on the coffee table and then tucks a blanket around his daddy’s legs. He grabs a pillow and then uses the blanket as a hammock.
Xander likes to help take our dog Toby outside in the morning, get him food and water, etc. He also likes to help bring him inside in the evening. The other night he went outside with Roger to bring him in. When he came inside he said, “Toby killed ferret.” Of course I’m thinking our pet ferret and I’m freaking out trying to figure out how Toby even got ahold of the ferret. Roger came in an explained it was actually a opossum. Xander is convinced opossums are actually ferrets.
To finish of this post, probably the funniest one that’s happened lately. The other morning Xander put on his dinosaur feet slippers, donned his daddy’s batman belt over one shoulder and across his torso, and grabbed the plunger before running through the house like a superhero. Still no diaper.
Free to Keep Breathing 