Hey readers! I took a break from posting for a while. I actually had several things I wanted to write about, but a couple of them were weighing on my mind. One in particular I really had to process for a while before I felt I could start penning my words. I had to pray for wisdom to even think about posting about it.
I’ve been a coffeeholic for well over a decade. When I started working in a coffee shop at 15 I really fell in love with the entire coffee culture. I received some of the best training from a barista – I’ll call him JR – who studied under a master in Australia for two years. At 15 the only things I was passionate about was coffee, books, and singing. I was also extremely not Christian, and if you tried to talk to me about it I would usually shake my head and walk away…or rip/burn the pamphlet you handed me after you walked away. Depended on my mood honestly.
There was only one person I would let talk to me about God, religion, or philosophy. JR. He’d push me, I’d push back, we’d debate in between making lattes, and at the end of the day we’d either go home or chill for a while and drink whatever we brewed. Now at 15 I wasn’t overly philosophical, but I could debate and hold my own. I was also stubborn as hell. JR never “converted me.” He never convinced me to see God or Christianity in a way that I could live with, but he made me think and consider, which is more than anyone else (friends, family, pastors) ever managed. He opened his own shop eventually. Before it officially opened we sat outside of it and would talk late into the night. He showed me all his plans and ideas.
You’re probably thinking we dated or hooked up. We talked about it, but never did. One of us was always dating someone or not interested at the time. He was also really conflicted about women and his Christian values. Something he often expressed was his confliction with having had sex before marriage when he was in Australia. It really bothered him, and I remember JR telling me his younger brother was disappointed in his choices.
Fast forward several years, his shop is doing well, I moved to Kentucky where I later became a Christian, and we lost touch other than me calling him about the occasional coffee question. At the moment we haven’t spoken in going on three or four years and rarely does he cross my mind unless I’m trying to remember an iced coffee recipe he created. We’re not even connected on social media. So why am I taking the time to write a whole post about him? Because I don’t know him anymore.
Over the last two weeks I’ve read dozens of articles about two coffee shop owners who were discovered to be the authors of an anonymous blog and twitter account that detailed their sexual encounters and rated them on face, body, personality, and whether they would have sex with them again. That’s putting it nicely. I read all the articles that came across my feed. I read the blog and twitter account multiple times. The content is too horrible to republish. This quote is from JR about the struggle of finding a good woman.
“The biggest barrier to commitment with most of these women wasn’t their sexuality or their femininity. It was either that I didn’t find them beautiful enough or interesting enough to warrant commitment. Many of these girls could help themselves immensely by reading a few classic novels and working out a little. But they get attention regardless, so the motivation to better themselves isn’t present. It’s unfortunate. That said, I think it’s possible to find value. If you’re willing to hang around in the 6-7 range looks-wise, you can lock down a young, intelligent, girl who will make a good partner and mother. The question is really how much you’re willing to compromise where beauty is concerned.”
The only other one I can bring myself to share is this.
“95 percent of women are just f**ksocks,” This was a tweet.
Who is this? The person being portrayed in these articles is not the same guy I knew. It’s not that I doubt he did it. He openly admitted he wrote them, but I had a hard time accepting the guy from the news and the guy I knew as the same person. He was really influential in my life, even though he probably didn’t realize it.
What he did to those women was wrong, completely, and the apology he issued was seriously lacking remorse. I just want to know what happened… What made him go from seemingly normal guy with a few insecurities to a full blown chauvinist who subscribed to “The Game” and the red pill philosophy?