There are a lot of 2015 resolutions starting up. Many are the traditional ones: quit smoking, lose weight, eat better, etc. Those are all really great, and if that is the goal you are setting for yourself then good for you! I hope you achieve it!
While I do want to eat better and lose some weight, that’s not really what I am hoping to achieve in 2015. Last night was a long night for me. Sleep eluded me until about 4 AM. Then my son got me up a few hours later. Thankfully he was content playing on the couch so mommy could rest a bit. We started to take a nap together, but as soon as he was asleep it was like I was wide awake. Not wanting to wake him I got up and came in my bedroom instead so I could type without disturbing my baby. He is such a sweet boy, even if he refused to be diapered or clothed for the first hour of our day.
In 2015 I just want to be a better person. I like the person I was in 2014, at least the first 6 months of it, but the last 6 months just didn’t go well. I did not adjust well at all. In the wee hours of the morning, when I was crying because of the injustice of the world, I resigned. I resigned my struggle with 2014 and the woman I was. I resigned my choices, and the choices of others. I can’t control them, I can only control me. And trust me I made so piss-poor decisions. I don’t regret them, but I’m going to be praying for continual healing of my heart because it’s pretty damaged.
I want to be a better person, who makes good, rational decisions. I want to be an amazing mother to my handsome little boy, even if that means I am going to have to do it alone. I want to be the best at my job because I love it and I am passionate about what I do. I just want to be better.
We should all try to be better together! We should all support one another as we fulfill our resolutions. There are 365 days in a year. That means 365 new chances. 365 new mercies. 365 days to be free to keep breathing. Lets breathe together.